New York Post restaurant critic Steve Cuozzo did not enjoy his meal at Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto's new restaurant, Tribeca Canvas. Giving the restaurant a mere half star in a review entitled "Cooking a Lost Art at Canvas," he writes that it's "a compelling reason to stay off the streets, watch Iron Chef America and enjoy what you're missing." And there's more where that came from: below, the seven best burns from Cuozzo's scathing review.
7: "A loud, cheap-looking, high-ceilinged brick barn hung with eerie, brain-like ceiling fixtures."
6: "'Creamy' farro, a grain prized for its firmness, cooked to an insipid mush like baby food."
5: "How crummy does a new restaurant have to be before it makes a celebrity toque a joke?"
4: "Everything else was the silly, clumsily assembled party matter, served more or less communally, of a suburban roadhouse on Super Bowl night."
3: "The menu pays homage to Morimoto's chutzpah in thinking he can sell anything to downtowners with grown-up dough and 16-year-olds' tastes."
2: "How could Morimoto, once a top chef at Nobu, lend his name to this? He's less a chef than a branding machine."
1: "Tribeca Canvas is open nightly till 4 a.m. — a compelling reason to stay off the streets, watch Iron Chef America and enjoy what you're missing."