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The Layover's Atlanta Episode: Just the One-Liners

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Photo: Travel Channel

On last night's episode of The Layover, Anthony Bourdain went to Atlanta to shoot guns, drink bourbon, and eat pork. It was a star-studded affair, and he hung out with Sean Brock, Richard Blais and Linton Hopkins. Oh, and he liquored up Alton Brown and took him to the strip club, because why not? Now, on to the Quotable Bourdain — feel free to add your picks in the comments below.

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1: On Atlanta's reputation: "Georgia's the Bible Belt, isn't it? The South is supposed to be conservative, right? God-fearing, Baptist, Evangelical. So why is this the strip club capital of America?"
2: On "utility pork ribs": "Okay, barbecue snobs, food nerds, I know it's not real barbecue. I know there are better restaurants in Atlanta. But back the fuck up, Snobaloid, because there's something to be said, I believe, for utility pork ribs, collards, and mac and cheese."

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3: In defense of less than perfect ribs: "It's like this: you're married to a Harvard graduate super model, right, but every once in awhile you want some really nasty girl in cheap heels with a really trashy Queens accent who chews gum. I'm saying you like that, not me."
4: On ribs, or something: "Sometimes you want some nice wet messy ribs. You know, like a girl who has to pull the gum out of her mouth before she puts your penis in."
5: On when you should get ribs: "This is best when you're drunk, covered in God know's what nasty fluids and flesh eating bacteria, come here for some ribs and some more beer after. Wake up in your room all sticky with barbecue sauce. That's a successful evening."

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6: Reading his guide book: "Georgia is the nation's number one producer of the three P's: peanuts, pecans and peaches. Also strippers, I believe."
7: On aquariums: "You want to go look at fish you can't even eat? Be my guest."
8: On southern food: "The future of American dining? The next big thing? Probably happening south of the Mason Dixon."
9: On deviled eggs: "I am a total slut for deviled eggs."

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10: Anthony Bourdain, cookbook critic: "If you get somebody with a cookbook saying "Y'all" on the cover a lot, chances are everything's cooked in lard, everything's breaded, everything's heavy. It wasn't always so."
11: Sean Brock on sheep testicles: "I can't stop eating these balls."
12: After hamburgers are served at Holeman & Finch: "I feel like I didn't know it, but I was waiting on line at the methadone clinic."
13: On how he arranged to get a Holeman & Finch burger: "Fortunately I have made prior arrangements involving money, power tools, and duct tape. Better not get into it."

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14: On what he misses about cooking: "The only thing I really miss about the business: going out after work and, you know, bitching."
15: On what you can expect from this episode: "If you're looking for Delta Burke jokes, write them yourself."
16: On reading the New York Times: "There's a fascinating article about Life After Top Chef. Need a little alone time with it."

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17: On Richard Blais: "He may be a little bit slow to get off the Top Chef teat, but I love Richard Blais."
18: On jackfruit: "That's not a fruit, that's a weapon."
19: On layovers: "Layovers can be mental struggles, especially when gorging yourself silly and constantly at odds with a hangover."

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20: On Alton Brown: "It's not often I sit down with a respectable and respected Food Network host, but Alton Brown, I guess he fits that description."
21: On meeting a famous stripper who has never heard of Alton Brown: "This is where your status is in Atlanta my friend. Around like here."
22: On Alton Brown hanging out at a strip club: "Having plied Alton with round after round of straight bourbons over dinner, he's easily convinced to tag along. He is perhaps the least likely person you'd expect to see here."

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23: On the Clermont Lounge: "You come from out of town and you come here, you're laughing for about three minutes, and after that you're like you know what, this is a beautiful fucking thing."
24: Alton Brown at the strip club: "You gonna make it rain? You got your ones here?"
25: On living in a land where strip clubs like the Clermont exist: "America is a great country."
26: Alton Brown on the strippers at the Clermont: "It reminds me of my grandmother actually, a little."
27: On his evening at the Clermont with Alton Brown: "We have seen greatness tonight my friend."

· All Layover Coverage on Eater [-E-]
· All Anthony Bourdain Coverage on Eater [-E-]

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