"One fast food company has drawn a line in the lard," said Stephen Colbert about the ongoing Chick-fil-A-driven culture war on gay marriage. "No surprise Chick-fil-A supports traditional marriage. Unlike KFC's Double Down, two chicken breasts rubbing up against each other? That is nothing but a lesbian fantasy snack." On former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum's public support of the company: "That's right folks, if you like Santorum, you'll love Chick-fil-A sauce. It's a frothy mix of sweet and spicy."
"But the greatest thing about this controversy," said Colbert, "Is that we have finally managed to politicize yet another part of our lives. I've got to know what positions my food has taken on all the issues. For example, I love Carl Jr's Western Burger. It must be anti-ObamaCare, because it is clearly trying to kill us. And whenever I go to Applebee's, I insist that they only give me right wings. After all, you are what you eat. And now, you also believe what you eat."
Video: Chick-Fil-A's Anti-Gay Marriage Announcement