Bacon really does make everything better, including nose bleeds. It's true: researchers found that "cured salt pork crafted as a nasal tampon and packed within the nasal vaults successfully stopped nasal hemorrhage promptly." Naturally, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A. (Doctor Fine Arts) has a business idea to go with this development: the world's first all pork feminine hygiene product, Hampax. Ladies, watch the video below to find out how you can feel "as fresh as a Spring day behind a deli counter."
Video: The Colbert Report: Bacon Cure for Nosebleeds