On Tuesday, Starbucks unleashed its lighter "Blonde" roast upon a weak-ass nation that demanded milder coffee. And the coffee chain is so confident about this roast that is has reportedly threatened employees with written offenses should they dare to make any jokes about the new blends that Starbucks claims will "awaken the senses gently." A commenter on the Starbucks Gossip blog writes:
"We were told at a Regional Rally there are absolutely no Blonde jokes to be told around the coffee what so ever. It will be a written offense if so. This came right from the RD's [Regional Director] mouth to about 100 SM's [Store Manager] so communicate back to our stores at our own meetings."
Fortunately, though, these regulations do not preclude customers from making jokes about the new Blonde roast — or blonde people? — so have at it.
· Any Jokes About Starbucks’ Blonde Roast Will Result in a 'Written Offense' [Gawker]
· Post your reviews of the new, lighter Blonde roast [Starbucks Gossip]