"Nothing is off-limits," said Mysti, who's addicted to tartar sauce. "I would eat with anything and everything." The show is TLC's Freaky Eaters, and it's back for a second season. Before you ask, no, this show is not affiliated with Eater.com. Anyway, Mysti is a single mom who a few years ago discovered the joys of tartar sauce (it was a doggie bag-based accident), and is now consuming an entire bottle a day, which translates to a somewhat stunning 14,000 calories per week.
Mysti eats tartar straight from the bottle (and goes mobile with packets). And no food is safe from tartar sauce — go big or go home, Mysti — red velvet cake, Cheetos, spaghetti, breakfast waffles, Trix, Jell-o (in a bowl), and Jell-O and tartar sauce sandwiches. But the true work of art is the Hostess Cupcake-tartar sauce sandwich (that's tartar sauce in between two inverted Hostess cupcakes in case you were wondering).
This episode of Freaky Eaters certainly verges on being an absurd parody of itself. So are we being punked here by "Mysti"? It's probable? If that's even her real name. Come on. Mysti the tartar sauce addict? It's... just... hard to believe. I am prone to cynicism.
But then EVEN THE CURE that the psychologists administered: pouring a 40-gallon canister of tartar sauce down a children's slide into a kiddie pool, and forcing Mysti to step barefoot into it? "This is... ew... nooo," said Mysti. What would anyone do in that situation? Bathe in it?
The probability of this landing on The Soup is high. WATCH NOW:
Addicted to Tartar Sauce
Curing the Tartar Sauce Addiction