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The Boston Episode of No Reservations: Just the One-Liners

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Bourdain in Boston.
Bourdain in Boston.
Photo: Travel Channel

On last night's episode of No Reservations, Anthony Bourdain headed to South Boston where he drank a lot of booze and ate many, many sandwiches. (We got a little preview of the episode during a live chat back in January.) He also got attacked by a kid with snowballs while heading into a bar, played candlepin bowling very poorly and played darts slightly better. Now, on to the Quotable Bourdain — feel free to add your picks in the comments below.

1) On what we've all got coming to us: "I happen to believe that everybody in this world, at one point in their life, needs an ass kicking."

2) On his approach to the Boston episode: "This is about me and my friend Mike trying to have a wicked fucking time in Boston, and if you have a problem with that, then you can just fuck off over to Samantha Brown."
3) On getting a colonoscopy: "They could be jooking you with a GI Joe and you'd never know!"
4) On nanny states: "I support fully all adult Americans' right to eat themselves to death. It's pretty much what I'm doing for a living."
5) On eating oneself to death: "But it's un-Christian! What do you think, Jesus was sitting there at the last supper having an extra helping of tiramisu?"
6) On candlepin bowling: "The balls are smaller — insert Stallone joke here — the pins are skinny, and it's hard, much harder, to knock them all down."
7) When asked how it feels to be beaten by a woman: "Have you met my wife?"
8) On a gigantic omelet: "Now I know why the Big Dig took so long, after you eat all that, you're not exactly double-timing it."
9) On the legitimacy of his guide's claim that he's from Southie: "Okay. We know by now that my friend from the mean streets of Hingham here did not grow up working a speed bag between bong hits."
10) On the rigors of producing No Reservations: "As television professionals, all we have to do is drink for the rest of the afternoon."
11) On the beverages available in Boston: "The drink of choice here is alcohol. There's beer, and whiskey apparently, and oh yeah, this: a mix of Jagermeister and Red Bull that's just wrong."

· All No Reservations Coverage on Eater [-E-]
· All Anthony Bourdain Coverage on No Reservations [-E-]