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No Reservations' Amazon Episode: Just the One-Liners

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Photo: Travel Channel

On last night's episode of No Reservations, Anthony Bourdain traveled to Belém, Brazil to sample Amazonian specialties found nowhere else in the world. Apart from the food, though, nothing seemed to go right: Bourdain threw his back out, the crew got sick, and they had major weather trouble. Oh well, on to the Quotable Bourdain — feel free to add your picks in the comments below.

1) On a green that numbs one's tongue: "My new leafy friend jambu is the cocaine of salad greens."
2) On aphrodisiacs: "If everything people told me was an aphrodisiac was, in fact, an aphrodisiac, I would never be able to put on pants."

3) Holding up a mango: "I see this every time Paris Hilton gets out of a car!"
4) On spicy he likes his food: "I'm happy when my ass burns tomorrow."
5) On açaí berries: "So, what if I dried it and snorted it?"
6) On harvesting açaí berries: "As much as I'd like to screw around in the jungle humping trees for berries — which is to say, I don't really want to do that at all — I've got different plans for my final night in civilization."
7) On eating more jambu: "I feel so 80s! My lips are all tingly and numb.
8) On other celebrities who might appreciate jambu: "I'm sure there's a Lohan joke in here somewhere."
9) On how he's handling his back pain: "I'm chewing vicodin like Twizzlers just to be able to walk upright."
10) On Brazilian monkeys spotted during a nature walk: "They may look like gentle, fruit-eating monkeys, but I'm pretty convinced one of these things is gonna suddenly land on my head and start humping my earhole with his sharp, furry penis, so I'm little uncomfortable. And the drugs are wearing off."

· All No Reservations Coverage on Eater [-E-]
· All Anthony Bourdain Coverage on Eater [-E-]

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