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No Reservations' Cambodia Episode: Just the One-Liners

Bourdain in Cambodia.
Bourdain in Cambodia.
Photo: Travel Channel

After last week's very serious Haiti episode, this week No Reservations was off to Cambodia and back to the dick jokes. This was Anthony Bourdain's second trip to Cambodia — the first was in 2000 — and he uses the opportunity to make fun of his former self. He also gets a crappy haircut and eats some "Happy Pizza." On to the Quotable Bourdain — feel free to add your picks in the comments below.

1) On watching footage from his first trip to Cambodia in 2000: "Looking back at that grainy video, I see someone glib, green, and generally clueless. A guy who had a lot to learn."
2) On seeing a bustling Cambodian marketplace (as compared to his last visit): "Gee. WWW-dot-what the fuck-dot-com?"

3) On a spicy, pho-like soup: "Robin Williams ate this shit, his back hair would burst into flames."
4) Again, on the spicy soup: "See, that's a healthy sweat. Not an 'I'm currently dying, please get me oxygen' sweat."
5) On his new haircut: "Within seconds, one second, that's all it took to go from reasonably normal, happy guy, to looking like someone from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest...a haircut I can only describe as 'post-lobotomy.'"
6) On his producer's role in the haircut scene: "He memorized the Khmer word for 'trim' and everything. Though, apparently he confused that word in his mind with the word for 'Shave that motherfucker down to the polished, sun-bleached skull.'"
7) Again, on his haircut: "I think I look like I swam too close to Three Mile Island."
8) On a roadside spring roll: "Feels sort of testicular."
9) On the heat: "You know, in this heat, my stomach shrivels to the size of a chiclet. Or Mick Jagger's penis, according to Keith Richards."
10) To his cameraman: "You know what's interesting about this scene, dude? Is that I'm in the shade and you're in the sun. I can literally see you wilting before my eyes. It's like watching fruit rot."
11) On Happy Pizza, which is laced with "a powerful herbal component": "The crust could be a little crispier. But really, which is more important, crispy crust or crispy diner?"

· All No Reservations Coverage on Eater [-E-]
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