After last week's very serious Haiti episode, this week No Reservations was off to Cambodia and back to the dick jokes. This was Anthony Bourdain's second trip to Cambodia — the first was in 2000 — and he uses the opportunity to make fun of his former self. He also gets a crappy haircut and eats some "Happy Pizza." On to the Quotable Bourdain — feel free to add your picks in the comments below.
1) On watching footage from his first trip to Cambodia in 2000: "Looking back at that grainy video, I see someone glib, green, and generally clueless. A guy who had a lot to learn."
2) On seeing a bustling Cambodian marketplace (as compared to his last visit): "Gee. WWW-dot-what the fuck-dot-com?"
3) On a spicy, pho-like soup: "Robin Williams ate this shit, his back hair would burst into flames."
4) Again, on the spicy soup: "See, that's a healthy sweat. Not an 'I'm currently dying, please get me oxygen' sweat."
5) On his new haircut: "Within seconds, one second, that's all it took to go from reasonably normal, happy guy, to looking like someone from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest...a haircut I can only describe as 'post-lobotomy.'"
6) On his producer's role in the haircut scene: "He memorized the Khmer word for 'trim' and everything. Though, apparently he confused that word in his mind with the word for 'Shave that motherfucker down to the polished, sun-bleached skull.'"
7) Again, on his haircut: "I think I look like I swam too close to Three Mile Island."
8) On a roadside spring roll: "Feels sort of testicular."
9) On the heat: "You know, in this heat, my stomach shrivels to the size of a chiclet. Or Mick Jagger's penis, according to Keith Richards."
10) To his cameraman: "You know what's interesting about this scene, dude? Is that I'm in the shade and you're in the sun. I can literally see you wilting before my eyes. It's like watching fruit rot."
11) On Happy Pizza, which is laced with "a powerful herbal component": "The crust could be a little crispier. But really, which is more important, crispy crust or crispy diner?"