Watch Charlie Sheen's Cooking Show and His Winning Recipes

Here's Charlie Sheen's Funny or Die video, "Charlie Sheen's Winning Recipes." Why is he doing a cooking show? According to him, his plan is to be the first person to "have made an appearance on every television network." Of course the Food Network is one of his targets.

Basically it's Charlie Sheen playing a parody of himself parodying a cooking show, so it's just more of his brand of crazytime. But there are some good lines, including him getting all hip with the butchery trend: "I killed this cow myself. Winners stalk and kill their own food without earthly weapons. I'm not some mouthbreather in a drive-thru gorging my piehole with mass-produced monkey-grub."

Also, after having a knife fight with himself: "My hands are rated by Zagat" and "I don't cook food, I will it."

Video: Charlie Sheen's Winning Recipes

· Charlie Sheen's Winning Recipes [Funny or Die]
· All Charlie Sheen Coverage on Eater [-E-]