Turkeys: traditional holiday roast, mean-ass motherfuckers. Turkey attacks are apparently quite common: wild turkey populations are on the rise, with around 3 million of them in the US. According to experts, birds that "get accustomed to suburban life apparently start to see people as other turkeys" and naturally defend their turf.
Should you have the misfortune to happen upon a vicious turkey, here are some tips gleaned from the videos below: sticks are a good defense. Mailmen are not, as turkeys are known to "have something against the US Postal Service." Hide in your car. Do not taunt them. Try to appear less like a rival turkey. If you're dealing with a group of turkeys — called a rafter, a gang, or, less formally, a gobble — well, good luck.
Last year was all about the best deep-fried turkey disaster videos, but here now, the thirteen best turkey attacks videos around. Ordered by the level of terror — from a little scary to absolutely terrifying.
13: La Matadora
12: Man Taunts Turkey With His Porsche
11: Turkey Attacks a House
10: Attack of the Wild Turkeys
9: Get the Fuck Out of Here
8: When Ivy League Turkeys Attack
7: Reporter Kicked by a Turkey "Right Where It Counts"
6: A Three-Turkey Gang Attacks
5: That Is One Big Turkey, And He Wants In
4: Man Runs From Wild Turkeys
3: Reporter Petrified at Turkey Farm Two Years Running
2: Turkeys Have Something Against the US Postal Service
1: Reporter Hides From Turkey In Her Car