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The Starbucks Logos of the Future Revealed!

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sbux-future-logos.pngBy a weird glitch I still haven't figured out, for a brief period this morning Starbucks, the coffee company that recently unveiled its new logo of 2011, had up on its website [the page is now down] its logos for 2030 and 2060. I screengrabbed them while I could. Scary stuff!

Strangely in the future, Photoshop technology is still pretty remedial but some things are clear from the evolution of the mermaid. Firstly, Starbucks is branching out in to Boutique Breeding, wherein the company will offer Barista genomes to go under a program called Breed-a-Barista. This, I think, is covered somewhere in a future provision of Obamacare.

Secondly, as we all feared, Starbucks is actually interested in expanding its leadership role from the Caffeine Industrial Complex to the Security Industrial Complex and, in fact, the entire evolution — the gradual close-up of the logo — seems to have been foreshadowing this observe-and-report obsession. The apotheosis, it seems, will be 2060 when all that remains of the Mermaid is a HAL-like eye and by which point the baristas will have become a security force of their own. And OMG! I just thought about it now: All those Breed-a-Baristas will be about 30 then and in their fighting prime, genetically-modified and engineered to dominate the world.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

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· Starbucks Unveils a New Logo With No Words [-E-]
· All Starbucks Coverage on Eater [-E-]

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