The question of children in restaurants is a touchy one — some just ban children outright — but according to Seattle server Jon Meyer, he's "never happy about serving a child." Which kind of makes sense: They make messes! They bring down the check average! They don't know how to interact with human beings! All he asks is for "a child to be able to make eye contact, confidently order, and go about his business." So... act like an adult? Bonus points for being able to sit through a whole meal without screaming!