You might remember a portly bearded gentlemen named Kevin Gillespie. For a red hot tittie second, he was on fire. A contestant on last season's Top Chef, Gillespie was the bacon-loving huggable mommas' boy Southern chef guy. Given a few more years, he could have been Art Smith. Alas, that was then.
This is now: "Hi Joshua, I just wanted to alert you that Saturday is International Bacon Day and Purina Beggin' Strips has put together an event that celebrates both dogs' and owner's love for bacon! While dog food may not interest you, Kevin Gillespie, Season 6 Top Chef finalist is a spokesperson for the event and has put together signature recipes (included below the press release) that incorporate bacon to help you and your reader's [sic] celebrate!"
The event includes a bacon pet costume contest, a Guinness World Record attempt for "loudest group bark," and an "All Pro" bacon-eating contest. From Bravo to dog food in less than a year. It gets worse.
Laying aside the innate sadness of an event devoted to two-legged creatures encouraging slightly stupider four-legged creatures to eat slightly smarter four-legged creatures, Kevin has taken to his Facebook page — the last bastion of dignity in an era gone fucked — to pimp out the event:
Probably, Gillespie, those dogs aren't barking for bacon, they're howling mournfully at your rapid decline. May this serve as a warning to Angelo, Tiffany, and Kelly. Kevin Sbraga, you work at a place called Rat's. You have nowhere but down to go.