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The Making of Kerala Episode of No Reservations: Just the One-Liners

Bourdain and producer Chris Collins getting those walking shots.
Bourdain and producer Chris Collins getting those walking shots.
Photo: Travel Channel

On last night's episode of No Reservations, a camera crew followed Anthony Bourdain to Kerala, India to get a behind-the-scenes look at what goes into filming the show. Mostly it was producers making Tony-esque jokes and making fun of season three. Oh, and they tell the story of one time they thought Tony died on location. Turns out it was just too much tequila! On to the Quotable Bourdain — feel free to add your picks in the comments below.

1) On the experimental drug he will be giving the crew during the shoot: "Your stools will be like fucking boulders every day for the entire shoot."
2) On segments the producers come up with for the fun of it: "Believe me, nobody wants to see me with my shirt off."

3) On segments he comes up with for the fun of it: "Running around a tree singing and dancing, I've been asking for this for fucking years."
4) On what the crew does if they get there a day before him: "A lot of talking to Mister Fisty I'm guessing. If something's missing from my mini-bar, I'm not paying. If they're charging porn to my room, this will not pass."
5) On his producer Diane's chances of scoring drugs for him: "They have a relaxed attitude towards prescription drugs here, right? You should try to buy some, you look innocent."
6) On the crew discussing the lighting at a location: "You get three smart people it equals one idiot, I've found. It's like the Moe, Larry and Curly Institute of Cinematography."
7) On what happens to the leftovers after scenes are shot: "Look at 'em, they're falling on those leftovers like seagulls on a corpse."
8) On van rides with the crew: "That atmosphere of warmth, camaraderie, and loose farts."
9) On what he said to make one of his producers (who was ill) cry: "Get your diseased lips off my hookah."

· All No Reservations coverage on Eater [-E-]
· All Anthony Bourdain coverage on Eater [-E-]

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