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The Rome Episode of No Reservations: Just The One-Liners

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Anthony Bourdain and Cesare Casella kickin' it on the beach in Rome.
Anthony Bourdain and Cesare Casella kickin' it on the beach in Rome.
Photo: The Travel Channel

Ah, la dolce vita. Anthony Bourdain was certainly living it on last night's Rome episode of No Reservations, in which he waxed poetic about ennui and fatality while wearing designer suits and eating some ridiculously drool-worthy food with chef Cesare Casella. He also discussed keeping things real. On to the Quotable Bourdain — feel free to add your picks in the comments below.

1) On Roman culinary mores: "According to Romans, there's good cacio e pepe, adequate cacio e pepe, and everything else, which is of course a sin against God."
2) On a bowl of pasta: "Jesus, I'm gonna be all over this thing like a horny Rottweiler on a Shitzu."

3) On the same bowl of pasta: "If you're sitting on a vinyl couch, I hope you're wearing pants, cause they're gonna have to suction you off."
4) Things Bourdain would sacrifice for this bowl of pasta: "Definitely Jefferson Airplane at Forrest Hills, that would be first. Catcher in the Rye, yeah. Overrated. My third, fifth, seventh and ninth acid trips. My first sexual experience, definitely out the window. I could do without that. The second one? No, that was a good one."
5) On listening to bread being sliced: "The bread! Just listening to it makes your dick stand right up."
6) On Roman seasonal eating: "They don't talk annoyingly about seasonal here, they just fucking do it."
7) On a fight that breaks out in a restaurant: "You tell her I had her back. Cause Baldy? I had my eye on Baldy. I didn't like his look. If he got any more up in her face, bam, he was out."
8) On whether good food or bad food makes better television: "They really like to show you eating warthog asshole when you're really sick."
9) On keeping it real: "Was I keeping it real when I was borrowing money from my mother for crack? Was I keeping it real when I was making people fucking waffles? Wanted to burn them with the waffle iron?"
10) On what to drink with dinner in Rome: "I would like a large carafe of ennui with some angst on the side."
11) On cooking in Rome: "I could've sliced that onion, but really, what does it matter in the long run? We're all gonna die anyway."

· All No Reservations coverage on Eater [-E-]
· All Anthony Bourdain coverage on Eater [-E-]

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