Yesterday, we entered into the I.M. Pei's glass death cube of the West Side (the Jacob K Javits Convention Center) to stride down alleys of licorice and coffee, foie gras and bacon, kosher cheese and sensible snacks. It was the 56th Annual Fancy Food Show. We left hours later, stomach distended and engorged with random small snacks of cheese cubes, gobstoppers, bacon, buffalo, popsicles and pasta sauce; a strange culinary conturbation which left us with restless spirits, pictures and these observations:
· The Jacob Javits Center is in the middle of nowhere. No wonder why the Fancy Food Show is moving to DC. I bet it's easier to get to from Williamsburg.
· There were a lot of Jews and much kosher food. There was a kosher version of pretty much everything, from candy to Jell-O to bacon. (Not for bacon. I kid.) Look for the letter "U" which means the thing was certified by the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America or just follow the trail of yarmulkes.
· Notably stingy givers of samples? The French and the Brazilians. Mexicans were supremely generous with their dried beef and freeze-dried fruit.
· India chose a white person in a sari to greet visitors.
· Kosovo and Albania were shunted into the back corner of the bottom floor, right next to Palestine. I guess it was the Disputed Territory Aisle. Significantly, China was back there too.
· Rick Bayless was there and not wearing a name tag because he's Rick Motherfuckin' Bayless.
· Jelly Belly's Pencil Shavings jellybean is remarkably delicious and lacks nothing in verisimilitude.
· The Fancy Food Show is only 28% fancy.
· A Fancy Food for Fancy Cat Fanciers show is inevitable.