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Eric Ripert Forces Regis To Munch Clam on Letterman

Little purple Golem Regis Philbin made a strangely aggressive appearance on David Letterman last night and he showed himself to be the world's most unadventurous eater. "Here's my favorite hors d'oeuvre, those little hot dogs, you know, what do you call those?" And then he smiled, half comprehending he was a fool and a quarter seeking to capitalize it. He then confessed he doesn't eat shellfish. Regarding clams: "You open it, you see all that....ooooh! I've looked at it once or twice but I can't do it. It's not for Regis." No clams for my prechusss Regissss!!!

But then Chef Eric Ripert arrives (after hinting as much on Twitter), toqued smiling sinister deliverer of oysters, mussels, and clams. Regis' monkey eyes ape madly. He gaps and gaws and David Letterman — Blessed be He! — shoves a spoonful of caviar down his throat. Then a deshelled clam. Then a mussel. Then an oyster. God, sometimes I wish Regis had a fatal shellfish allergy.

Video: Regis, Letterman: Part 1

Video: Ripert, Regis, Letterman: Part 2

· Eaterrogation: Eric Ripert on Anger Issues, Top Chef, and the Theory of Emptiness [-E-]
· All Eric Ripert Coverage on Eater [-E-]
· All David Letterman Coverage on Eater [-E-]