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They Don't Make Menus Like They Used To

Remember back when menus said things like: "Tonight is yours! Beautiful girls will dance for you, golden voices will sing for you... anything, everything you may want shall be yours... merely to command. The orchestra leader is your servant of melody...The bartender is your servant of liquor...The waiter is your servant of food. Tonight you are a King. Tonight you are a Queen." Nah, neither do I. [Because I'm no septuagenarian.] Now you get dirty looks for asking about gluten-free pasta.

· Alice Statler Menu Collection [City College of San Francisco]

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