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Casting Bill Buford's Heat, the Movie

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heat-book-cover-bill-buford.jpgAuthor and journalist Bill Buford's 2006 book Heat: An Amateur's Adventures as Kitchen Slave, Line Cook, Pasta-Maker, and Apprentice to a Dante-Quoting Butcher in Tuscany, a source tells us, has recently been optioned to become a movie. [Source reported as if common knowledge but I haven't seen anything written about this so... scoop?]

Casting has not yet been determined, nor has a release date been announced. What we do know is that Mario Batali, who Mr. Buford profiles slavishly and praises lavishly in the book, is gunning to be played by film and stage actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, but (as always!) we have our own ideas.

From left to right, in order of attractiveness.

Bill Buford, hapless writer, desperate for the acceptance of more manly men, intellectual ham.
buford.jpg
On the left, is Stephen Tobolowsky aka Ned Ryerson. In the middle is Mr. Buford himself. On the right, yes, a stretch but some similarity there: Javier Bardem.

Mario Batali, bad boy chef, Dionysian celebrity, pork lover
batali.jpg
On the left, Mike Myers as Fat Bastard (do fat suits go bad?). In the middle, not the most flattering shot of Mario Batali. On the right, the most flattering shot of Batali's choice Philip Seymour Hoffman. [Nota Batali: Be warned. This is also PSH.]

Dario Cecchini Dante-quoting butcher of title, Renaissance meat maven, embodiment of quasi-mystical reverence with which New York writers hold all things Tuscan.
cecchini.jpg
Not very nice to say but... Bruce Villanch. The not unhandsome Cecchini in the center. And, if only for the eyebrows, Mr. Jack Nicholson.