Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares vs Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, Plus The Private Chefs of Beverly Hills

It's still a little bizarre that ABC scheduled Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution up against Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares Fridays at 9pm EST — that's what DVRs are for, presumably — but pick your poison! Will it be the shouty British chef (who in tonight's episode revisits two restaurants he's helped in the past, plus a promised segment in which he "reflects on noteworthy kitchen fights he's had")? Or will it be the somewhat-weepy yet world-saving British chef (who in tonight's episode teaches 1,000 people-strong flashmob in Huntington, West Virginia to cook)?

Also, tonight sees the premiere of Food Network's The Private Chefs of Beverly Hills (10pm EST, website), featuring people who call themselves "chefs" who work for a private chef placement agency. The pilot that aired a few months ago displayed some of the most dreadful food we'd ever seen on television, but perhaps the description for episode one and this preview video will better explain:

The chefs must cook a lunch for both humans and canines when a doggy spa throws a "shower" to woo a new client. A local beauty salon requests the chefs inject some flavor into an invite-only Botox party. A group of young millionaire buddies bring the chefs along to cook their meals on a glamorous camping trip – known as “glamping” – up to Santa Barbara.