'Techniques' Episode of No Reservations: Just the One-Liners

Anthony Bourdain slipped on his chef’s whites and stepped into the kitchen at his Les Halles Brasserie for last night’s star-chef packed "techniques" episode of No Reservations. In between shots of Tony cursing at his beef bourguignon, Thomas Keller demonstrated his recipe for a perfect chicken, Laurent Tourondel prepared a gourmet cheeseburger, and Monsieur Jacques Pépin showed us how to make a perfect, simple omelette. Although Tony didn’t really buddy around with the chefs on screen very much, there were still plenty few signature Bourdain one-liners throughout. On to the Quotable Bourdain— feel free to add your picks in the comments below!

1) On beef fat: “It’s called collagen, maybe you’ve heard of it, it’s in all your favorite movie stars' faces."
2) On omelettes: “I think that it should become sort of a right of passage that if you sleep with a virgin, whoever the most experienced person is should cook an omelette for the other. Wouldn’t that make the world a nicer place?”

3) On a freshly grilled steak: "Number one mistake made by dads across America, the single most important thing to learn here is: leave the steak the fuck alone."
4) On chopping chives: “There’s some jerk-off on TV right now selling some machine that does exactly this.”
5) On bad technique: “Fake Italian food — especially if it’s something simple like spaghetti pomodoro and someone has taken the extra trouble to really fuck that up— that really pisses me off.”
6) On his beef bourguignon: “Is there anything you’ve seen me do with this dish that you couldn’t teach a reasonably intelligent Yorkie to do?"
7) On his beef bourguignon, cont’d: “Make sure that your crackhead roommate didn’t turn up the flame or anything.”
8) On his beef bourguignon, cont’d: “In the meantime, your only responsibility is to not fuck it up, so as you’re finishing off this jug of undistinguished Burgundy from Yugoslavia or whatever, give your meat a little poke.”
9) On knife technique: “The excruciating pain you feel when you sink a knife into your thumb, a lot of that pain really comes from the knowledge that you’re really an idiot”

Here's a clip of Tony eating his finished beef bourguignon with his executive chef:
No Reservations Techniques Episode [Youtube]
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