Maine Episode of No Reservations: Just the One-Liners

Last night, Anthony Bourdain got a tour of the coastal and rural communities of Maine, where one of his crew-members, “Zamboni,” grew up. Along the way he met a lot of grizzled old-timers, attended a “bean dinner” at a local community center, got accidentally bashed in the face with a shotgun, got capsized in a schooner, was forced to chop wood, and rode a snowmobile to a BBQ shack in the middle of a frozen tundra. Clearly out of his element, Bourdain got in many, many of his signature snarky one-liners. On to the Quotable Bourdain — feel free to add your picks in the comments below.

1) On being asked to go “rough it” in a cabin: “Just tell me there’s no non-consensual sodomy and I’m with you!”
2) On chopping firewood: “I was born to do this. Actually, I was born to call the super and say ‘more heat.’”

3) On chainsaws: “I always wanted to use power tools, not in the way that they’re supposed to be used, but yeah.”
4) On a snowman he’s using for target practice: “Hey Frosty, remember me? The mall, 1962? You are dead to me now.”
5) On Zamboni’s “off the grid” uncle: “Good first impression, when you meet somebody and they’re cooking bacon.”
6) On Duct tape: “Duct tape is good for everything. Pretty much our entire show runs on duct tape.”
7) Before getting thrown off a boat: “I know what the money shot here is: Tony gets dunked, hilarity ensues.”
8) On steamed clams: “Like Burrows Burroughs used to say about his favorite thing, if god made anything better, he kept it to himself.”
9) On the BBQ shack in the middle of the woods: “If I was from out-of-town, and we didn’t know this place, and we were snowmobiling through, I’d think we’d stumbled on a meth lab.”

Here's the bit at the BBQ shack:

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Bourdain in Maine [Photo: Travel Channel]