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All That Separates Guy from Gay is a Goatee

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The Food Network is celebrating Guy Fieri, that bloated harbinger of caloric death, the week before Christmas. They've even devised a logo for it. The first time I saw this logo, in the back of a cab, I thought, "Well, isn't it nice that the Food Network is finally embracing its gayness. After all, Sandra Lee has described herself as a drag queen (a rare moment of insight!) and Bob Tuschman, himself, is a powerful supporter of the gay community."

Alas, I was wrong: They're embracing their guyness which has much less to do with equality than it does with eating fried foods. This was disappointing. We wish Guy would just shave his beard already and embrace his inner queen.

· It's a Guy Thing [Food Network]
· All Guy Fieri Coverage on Eater [-E-]

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