From this weekend's Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update's city correspondent and tweaked out club kid Stefon (played by Bill Hader) offered his tips for a fun and classic New York Christmas including the nightclubs Ounce (located in the middle of the East River) and Uuuunce (a Lower Lower East Side dump).
For some "good old-fashioned Christmas cheer," Stefon had the perfect place: "If you're old, or into fashion, I've got the place for you... New York's hottest holiday club is Blitzen. And right now they're having the 12 Days of Christmas dance party." And then he broke into song, his version of the "12 Days of Christmas":
"12 jacked albinos, 11 Little Richards, 10 piercer babies, 9 Asian Balkis, 8 gay Aladdins, 7 psychos swearing, 6 Puerto screechers, 5 homeless Elmos. 4 coked up frogs, 3 French hens, Taylor Negron, and a human parking cone."
Video: Stefon's Holiday Recommendations