The Swedish Chef: 'Börk Börk Börk!'

Welcome to Eater Chef Profiles, an account of one of our favorite chefs. Here now, the Michelin-starred The Swedish Chef.

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Name: The Swedish Chef
Restaurants: Three: Snorldlingord in Copenhagen (opened in 1975), Flurindig in Stockholm (1982), and Altschuner in Helsinki (1991)
Training: Stockholm Culinary Academy (Class of 1975)
Worked at:
Cookbooks: Too many to name.
TV Shows: The Swedish Chef Cooks
Online: @swedishchef and Swedishchef.com
Accolades: Two Michelin stars for Snorldlingord since 1979; Led Sweden to #3 in the Bocuse d'Or in 2001. Most recently #47 in World's 50 Best.

How did you get to where you are today?
Um gesh dee bork, bork! I'fe-a ietee a beet es vell. I hed prubebly zee best meel I hed et Mumuffookoo Ssäm Ber. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Peeckled moossels, a feesh boorger. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Reelly, reelly guud stooffff.

Your philosophies to cooking?
I hefen't becume-a tured ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Perheps iff yuoo esk me-a in tvu yeers it veell be-a deefffferent. Um de hur de hur de hur. Remember thet I leefe-a in Cupenhegee, a ceety ooff oone-a meelliun. Bork bork bork! Zee ettenshun here-a in Noo Yurk is mooch mure-a thun I see-a in my oovn pert ooff zee vurld. Bork bork bork!

And operating a restaurant?
Um de hur de hur de hur. I'm reelly pruood ooff it, yuoo knoo? I veell sey zee beeg ettenshun thet zeere-a is reeght noo is su noo tu me-a, I hefen't becume-a tured ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Perheps iff yuoo esk me-a in tvu yeers it veell be-a deefffferent.

Who were your mentors?
Vell yuoo knoo I hefen't treeed thees beffure-a, gueeng oon a buuk tuoor. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Nurmelly vhee yuoo ere-a dueeng a presenteshun, yuoo ere-a cuukeeng et zee seme-a teeme-a. Vell yuoo knoo I hefen't treeed thees beffure-a, gueeng oon a buuk tuoor. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Nurmelly vhee yuoo ere-a dueeng a presenteshun, yuoo ere-a cuukeeng et zee seme-a teeme-a.

What did you learn from them?
Yuoo ere-a telkeeng ebuoot fuud. Bork bork bork! Noo thees is deefffferent, yuoo ere-a hefeeng telks, yuoo ere-a speekeeng. I ves in zee Sydney Oopera Huoose-a in zee cuncert hell veet 13,000 peuple-a, elune-a oon stege-a fur un huoor und a helff.

What's a normal day like for you?
Um de hur de hur de hur. I'm reelly pruood ooff it, yuoo knoo? I veell sey zee beeg ettenshun thet zeere-a is reeght noo is su noo tu me-a, I hefen't becume-a tured ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Perheps iff yuoo esk me-a in tvu yeers it veell be-a deefffferent

What are the rules for your kitchen?
I hefen't becume-a tured ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Perheps iff yuoo esk me-a in tvu yeers it veell be-a deefffferent. Um de hur de hur de hur. Remember thet I leefe-a in Cupenhegee, a ceety ooff oone-a meelliun. Bork bork bork! Zee ettenshun here-a in Noo Yurk is mooch mure-a thun I see-a in my oovn pert ooff zee vurld. Bork bork bork!

Ever fire anyone?
Um gesh dee bork, bork! I'fe-a ietee a beet es vell. I hed prubebly zee best meel I hed et Mumuffookoo Ssäm Ber. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Peeckled moossels, a feesh boorger. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Reelly, reelly guud stooffff.

Ever kick any one out of your restaurant?
Um de hur de hur de hur. I'm reelly pruood ooff it, yuoo knoo? I veell sey zee beeg ettenshun thet zeere-a is reeght noo is su noo tu me-a, I hefen't becume-a tured ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Perheps iff yuoo esk me-a in tvu yeers it veell be-a deefffferent. Um de hur de hur de hur. Remember thet I leefe-a in Cupenhegee, a ceety ooff oone-a meelliun. Bork bork bork! Zee ettenshun here-a in Noo Yurk is mooch mure-a thun I see-a in my oovn pert ooff zee vurld. Bork bork bork!

Worst thing you've ever served at your restaurant:
Um de hur de hur de hur. Perheps iff yuoo esk me-a in tvu yeers it veell be-a deefffferent. Um de hur de hur de hur. Remember thet I leefe-a in Cupenhegee, a ceety ooff oone-a meelliun.

Other than your own, what restaurants do you admire?
I dun't understund thet peuple-a ere-a fucooseeng oon furegeeng es zee meeen theeng. Fur me-a furegeeng is joost oone-a smell pert ooff a keend ooff steppeeng beck intu netoore-a. Thet's oone-a pert ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Boot zeere's zee vhule-a understundeeng ooff zee veezeer, vhet it breengs, cunferseshuns veet oozeer peuple-a thet is joost es impurtunt. Um de hur de hur de hur.

What do you do on your day off?
Vell, I vrute-a it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Ixcept fur zee intru, I vrute-a iferytheeng ilse-a. I treeed tu hefe-a Roone-a Skyoom-Neeelsee — zee juoorneleest vhu vrute-a zee intru — du zee purtreeets ooff prudoocers und it deedn't vurk oooot. Um de hur de hur de hur.

Trends you are big on:
Fur me-a furegeeng is joost oone-a smell pert ooff a keend ooff steppeeng beck intu netoore-a. Thet's oone-a pert ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur.

Trends you are down on:
Ferue-a Islunds, Icelund, Greenlund. Bork bork bork! I vuoold recummend unyune-a tu gu zeere-a. It is a trooly uneeqooe-a ixpereeence-a. Nu oone-a ifer gues zeere-a. Zeey ere-a leeke-a beck in teeme-a.

Finally, Fuck/marry/kill: Anthony Bourdain/Guy Fieri/Todd English.
Fuck: Todd English, bork dee bork. Marry: Bourdain. Fieri: die.

What will you be doing 20 years from today?
Fur me-a furegeeng is joost oone-a smell pert ooff a keend ooff steppeeng beck intu netoore-a. Thet's oone-a pert ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Boot zeere's zee vhule-a understundeeng ooff zee veezeer, vhet it breengs, cunferseshuns veet oozeer peuple-a thet is joost es impurtunt. Um de hur de hur de hur.